Poop. and various synonyms. Insert them all here. That’s the word I’d use to describe how my brain feels and thinks as I prepare for one of my life’s largest changes. In just a few weeks, I will be doing something I’ve never imagined I would do. I will be leaving the country, alone, and currently… I don’t even know what I will be doing or where to go. Let’s talk more…
To describe my current emotions, I would use the brain-exploding emoji. It’s quite impossible to wrap my head around this opportunity I’ve been given. Just 3 days before my high school graduation, already consumed with other emotional states, this was thrown at me. But how could I say no? It’s been a dream of mine to travel, see, do, and be somewhere beyond what I call “home.” But, am I ready for this? Poop.
There is a lot of planning to do before going on any trip. Figuring out where to go, Visa and vaccination requirements, what to pack, determining necessities to purchase before departure vs what universal items you can purchase at the destination, and the big one for me…is how much money I need to save before leaving. There is so much to do in such a short amount of time; I’ve considered just buying the plane ticket and saying, “I’ll figure it out when I get there.” This is valid, but it also would cause me to have a panic attack in 2 days as my OCD and organization demon would fly into my ear. Poop.
But, on a real note, while battling with all of the stress, excitement, and ambition for the upcoming year, I had this one thought that I have transformed into a deeper concept… what about the bathroom situation? Poop. Yes, I’m talking about pooping. This may be part of the blog post that many will feel weirded out about, but this is a part of reality that some don’t take into consideration or one that people obsessively have hovering over their brains. Which do you think I fall under? Now, I am not focused on the singular idea of where I’ll be using number 2 or what type of toilet paper will be offered to me, but I’m simply considering the comfortability of this everyday routine. What does this mean?
Being comfortable. ‘To simply be content, secure, and restful.’ I’d say many would be comfortable at their home, a relative’s house, in the workplace, or even in their home country. But, what about in a completely new and unfamiliar place? In a country where you don’t speak the language? Picturing this situation doesn’t fit under the idea of being “comfortable,” and this can potentially be “my” situation in the upcoming weeks. And to me, it’s more than just the fixation about the restroom; it’s about day-to-day living as well. While at home, I live out the same daily comfort schedule. I wake up in my own bed, go to my favorite local coffee shop (shout out to Farmer and The Dail), work at the same place, and eat dinner at the same restaurants; and this is done every day. When does it change? And is this change comfortable? Poop.
Though I’ve never been through drastic life-changing or life-threatening shifts, from what I do know about the concept of change, it can be difficult, triggering, challenging, and stressful but also fun and all-embracing. Over the past few months, I’ve learned that change is something my growing personality gravitates to. Change isn’t for everyone, but there’s something about the idea of growing beyond what is commonplace to me that simply brings me joy.
For this journey I am about to embark on, I am scared. I am worried. I am anxious. I am concerned. Poop. But…I am excited. I am thrilled. And, I am prepared. Prepared to be uncomfortable. Prepared for change. Prepared to have an impact and a story to tell. This year, I will create a new form of comfort. Being comfortable in trying new things and being present in new places.
During my Summer institute for my Gap Year Fellowship, an intern gifted me a book related to an area and country in which I have an interest in visiting. On the front cover, it states “So many reasons to travel the world, embrace failure, and do the shi* that scares you.” So, here’s to the upcoming year of traveling the world, unfolding my strengths and weaknesses and pooping in different countries. So, stay tuned to see what the bathroom situation is like; maybe it’s like an outhouse offsite or something. 🙂
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