The following is a blog written by Thilini Weerakkody
It’s 7:58pm and I am sitting in my warm and comfy bed, my stomach and legs shielded from the cold air. I am re-reading this year’s journal entries once again because I like how my mind’s experiences sound written out. Does that seem narcissistic? Probably, but it’s true. It’s just nice to have words that totally encompass whatever emotions or thoughts which ran through my head during a particular moment. You can find the same satisfying connection in other people’s writing, but you have to actively look to have your worlds align.
As I skim through all of the Gap Year experiences I’ve had, I think about how few there are left. Currently, I am in my last placement: a small, mountainous village with just 8 people, where I am WWOOFing. Afterwards, I am traveling a week alone in Greece. Then, I will be meeting up with Sophie in Prague for a European tour which will mark the finish to our Gap Years.
Shortly, I cannot express how quickly this year has passed and how desperately I’ve attempted to cherish it. A picture of me with my eyes wide, futilely trying to capture memories of images racing by, comes to mind though. Thinking of this year ending in a month and a half makes me want to open those eyes even wider and frantically absorb as much growth, memories, and stories as possible with the time I have left. I find myself, strangely, more comfortable with the idea of traveling in foreign countries than going “home” and “living” somewhere. The permanence and importance of my next steps after my Gap Year almost seems daunting to me, but I know that this anxiousness is woefully unnecessary.
One of the things that I’ve grown to believe in during my Gap Year is that everything falls into place as it should. Each of my placements have been exactly what I needed at the time for my development as a whole—whether or not I perceived them as so—whilst there. I needn’t dwell on these worries because they steal attention and positivity away from the greatness of the present moment…etc., etc. I know and I have faith in all these ideologies.
So tomorrow, I will comfortably wake up at 7:30am and make breakfast. I will head over to the greenhouse and perhaps tend to the tomato plants or prepare some beds. I will have coffee at 11:00am with pleasant company. I’ll have lunch at 2:00pm and then listen to music, read, draw or go on a walk till 4:30pm when I’ll do a little work before we head off to church for Easter celebration. Tomorrow, I’ll spend time with my hosts, soak in Greece culture and enjoy myself because I am so incredibly lucky to be here and I know it.
But for tonight, I will entertain those unnecessary thoughts because it’s good to accept and explore your worries as long as you don’t allow them to control you. Because, I am aware that growth is spiral and these dips are essential in the totality of development. But to be honest, also because it’s freezing and it’s 8:34pm. I am sitting in my warm, comfy bed, my stomach and legs shielded from the cold air and I have nothing else to do.